You'll Never Be Satisfied
I love Hamilton (the musical). If you do too, you are likely singing the song now. You're welcome.
I got to thinking, "Why? What's missing?" He rose from an orphan to a Founding Father. Why couldn't he be satisfied? Was his dissatisfaction a superpower or a saboteur? I wonder if he had been satisfied, what more he would have left as his legacy?
Top Five Truths
Your identity and worth, are NOT defined by your accomplishments.
True and lasting happiness comes from who you are, not what you achieve.
Joy is found in the journey, not the outcome. Life is 98% journey, and 2% results. Whether you fail or succeed, the result comes and goes in a flash. Therefore, the secret to a happy life is nurturing the person you are becoming in the other 98%.
Who you are is a delightful masterpiece created by your values, beliefs, potential, dreams, skills, characteristics, passions, talents, experiences, and thoughts.
You are not your successes nor your failures. Those are merely singular events.
3 Take-Aways:
You don’t have to change your circumstances to be happy – just change your thoughts about your circumstances.
Your goals direct you. They do not define you.
When you are unattached to the outcome, you’re more likely to do what it takes to hit the goal without fear.
Application:
How will you “win” even if you don’t reach the actual goal? Here are a few prompts. Write your answers as if you are already on the other side of your goal. Start by writing the goal and outcome you envision at the top of the page. Then write your answers as if you are on the other side of that goal. BONUS: Do this from both outcomes (hit and miss):
What did I learn? What did my experiences teach me?
How have my existing relationships changed?
What impact did I make on those around me? How did I inspire or discourage others?
What values did I exhibit? How have my beliefs changed (or been strengthened)?
What characteristics, talents, or strengths contributed to my success? How (specifically) did they grow?
What did I enjoy about the process or journey?
How do I see myself, others, and my circumstances in a brighter, more positive light, from when I first began?
What unexpected gifts and opportunities presented themselves?
What am I thankful for…
I am most proud of… What do I regret? (Regardless of the outcome).
Why it matters:
When you base your self-worth or happiness on achievements or acquisitions, you will never be satisfied. Satisfaction is an inside job.
You will neither do your best nor be your best when you attach self-worth to external factors. That’s like defining the value of a fish based on its ability to climb a tree.
You are not at your best under negative stress. That’s a self-sabotaging lie.
Yes, stress gives you focus. This focus creates the illusion of doing your best. It also blinds you to new and different perspectives, information, and opportunities that could lead to an even better outcome.
When you are experiencing stress, your energy is low and your temper is short. You may create temporary success, but this level of being is not sustainable – it leads to burnout.
You can’t thrive in survival mode.
The Bottom Line
Regardless of the scope and breadth of your goals, remember who you are becoming by working toward them. If you aren’t satisfied, perhaps you are focused on the 2% results rather than the 98% journey. Or maybe the goals or method of reaching your goals isn’t aligned with who you are. Keep exploring.
The Invitation
Have you spent most of your life measuring your value based on external benchmarks and feedback? Are you tired of pushing that rock up the hill, but afraid if you let go, everything will come crashing down? Let's create a solution together.