BECOMING: Negotiate the Cost
If you want something you don't have, you must do things you've never done. You must stop doing things that don't support your goal.
As you build your life toward your goal, do you ever wonder whether it's worth it?
Did you ever decide to take off a day (or a week, month, year) because the journey was just too uncomfortable?
How does one avoid these starts and stops? The self-doubt and frustration?
By negotiating the costs before you get started.
Negotiating the Cost Rescues You From Regret
You may be surprised to find you don't want that goal after all.
I once dreamed of being the Chair of the Federal Reserve. It lasted halfway through college. That's when I stopped seeing myself living in New York and Washington DC. I didn't see myself in the financial markets at all. I didn't stop believing I could. I just knew I wanted it for all the wrong reasons.
Because I negotiated the costs early, I didn't compromise that which was most important to me. I have no regrets because I knew it was a decision that aligned with my values and my authentic self.
Without this intentional decision, I may be left wondering what could have been. I may have chosen a life I didn't want.
Negotiating the cost requires that you know what you value most.
Negotiating the Cost Sparks Innovation
When I decided to become an entrepreneur, I was lured by independence, flexibility, control over my own destiny, and serving people the way that sparked joy. I admit, I did not fully negotiate the costs. Like many entrepreneurs, I got hung up on "selling." And if you are a company of one, selling is non-negotiable.
Once I realized this (I was a quick learner!) I recognized a decision. I was not willing to give up my vision as an entrepreneur. That left negotiation. I had to negotiate a way to approach sales in a way that didn't trigger my resistance. I worked through this with my coach, with other entrepreneurs, and by doing a lot of research. Today, I'm excited with my own flavor of sales that aims to serve without expectation. To my delight, it allows me to serve more people and live my mission while thriving personally and professionally!
Sometimes our priorities conflict. Here, I was torn between not wanting to do something that was required to succeed and building a business that I wanted even more. This is an opportunity for innovation and new alternatives.
I'm not stuck doing "sales" in a way that is miserable for me. And I have the business.
Negotiating the Cost Helps You Make Better Decisions
The process of negotiation is a series of choices made in advance. When you make decisions in advance, they are based on creativity, empathy, curiosity, and purpose.
When you make decisions at the moment, they are based on emotion. That emotion is usually a form of fear or survival. These are the emotions that keep us stuck and from thriving.
Negotiating the Cost Solidifies Your Commitment
A commitment means doing the thing even when you don't feel like it. (Commit to the Journey.) Especially when it starts to get uncomfortable or even painful. To stay the course, no matter what.
Jesus of Nazareth said, "For which of you, desiring a tower, does not first sit down and count the cost, whether he has enough to complete it? Otherwise, when he has laid a foundation and is not able to finish, all who see it will mock him."
You are less likely to abandon the project. Why? Because you know what it will take, and if you aren't willing to do what it takes, you won't waste time, energy, and money. The process of negotiating the cost will help you discover other goals that do warrant your unwavering commitment.
What Costs Are Negotiable?
This is an answer only you can provide. Follow this process:
Start with your core values. What is most important to you? Work with a coach or a trusted friend to help you get to the root by asking five times: Why is that important?
Review the work under Own the Vision. Step into this future self. Engage your five senses.
Take your imagination through the journey of becoming the kind of person who has already achieved this goal. Create a project plan. What do you need to learn? Who do you need to know? What kind of investment is required? How will your lifestyle change along the journey, and after you've reached the goal? What is your tolerance for risk? How vulnerable are you willing to get? What thoughts, beliefs, or habits must you adopt and shed? What will be the impact on relationships and health?
Compare this to what it's costing you to stay the status quo.
Go through the lists carefully and make decisions. Do the benefits outweigh the costs? Which costs are non-negotiable? How can you negotiate?
Commit to the series of decisions you made from a place of purpose.
Failing to negotiate the cost is a recipe for abandoned goals and regret
It can lead to resentment and guilt.
When my kids were toddlers, I got my MBA and I traveled overnight for work every other week. I knew that if I did it all then, I'd miss a lot while they were tiny. I knew if I didn't do it then, I'd likely never do it. Or if I did, I would be absent from the parts of their childhood they would remember. I don't regret that choice. And I played the risk well - they don't remember it! (And my husband was very supportive).
Failing to negotiate the cost can lead to burnout. If you don't negotiate the hours, you end up not taking care of yourself. Burnout comes not only from burning the candle at both ends. It also comes from a life lived in conflict with your core values and authentic self. Burnout can lead to other health problems. You start to resent the goal and everything and everyone associated with it.
It's unlikely you'll anticipate every cost. But the more you can negotiate before you start, the more energy you'll have to negotiate the unexpected, and the better decisions you'll make.
When you negotiate the cost before you start working toward your goals, you are on your way to success. Negotiating the cost keeps you from pursuing a goal that conflicts with higher priorities. It prevents the vast majority of unpleasant surprises. It creates resilience, confidence, and motivation. It paints a clear picture of who you are BECOMING.
As you move on to the final element of BECOMING (Grace and Gratitude), stay in a place of love and appreciation. Grace and Gratitude are much better motivators than sticks and carrots any day.
Subscribe today so you don't miss out on the next essential element to BECOMING:
B: Believe in Possibility
E: Edit Your Environment
C: Commit to the Journey
O: Own the Vision
M: Manage the Moments
I: Ignite Courage
N: Negotiate the Cost
G: Give Gratitude and Grace
Let's chat! Schedule a complimentary strategy session to build your vision and your reality around BECOMING the kind of person it takes to live your best life and reach your wildly important goals.